how to get there from here, part 1

has jefferson county, alabama pissed off God?


seems that way, if the weather is any indication. twice in the last 9 months, huge-ass tornadoes have spun down and ripped our fair county, and a few others, a new one. the storms of last april that laid waste to tuscaloosa, pleasant grove, pratt city, and other places were stunningly devastating. end-of-days type shit. and early monday morning of january 23, another round kicked the crap out of us, hitting my hometown and a mile or so from my current home.

to see places i am so familiar with utterly demolished and changed for good has been pretty tough. places in center point that were part of my life for a long time are gone. a pile of debris. reduced to garbage. and a good 5 or 6 families i know whose homes were damaged. some will have to be rebuilt. all of them will from now on recall that early morning as the day the world crashed very literally around them.

the response has been, like it always been, swift and comprehensive. churches opening their doors and letting people in to sleep, shower, eat, escape. and thousands mobilizing out of those churches to help. wield a chainsaw to cut trees off of homes and cars. carry out trash, babysit kids, wash clothes. whether these people are doing it because of faith in Jesus or some other God, or just out of human decency, it is beautiful to see. inspiring, even. hopeful.

the other side of the response has, predictably, been upsetting to me. many cases of people saying it was all part of God's plan. now i'm not God and i guess he can do what he wants, but i tend to dismiss this thinking pretty quickly. what point is God so desperate to prove that he has to destroy people's homes and lives to make it? this causes huge problems.

i'm so damn doubt-ridden, though, that i am over thinking and finding fault with people who thank God for protecting them. not that he doesn't do that, or didn't that morning. but what about those who lost property or their life? why would he protect some, and level others? how does that make sense? how is that just, or merciful, or even good? i get being grateful for being spared, or being thankful that it was only stuff lost, and not lives. but what about the 16 year old girl who did lose her life? explain that to her parents.

i really don't want to try and find answers for all these questions. i'm ok with the mystery on one hand. but on the other, i am just afraid of the answers.

but i am inspired by the love and generosity and kindness displayed. and by the tenacity to those who refuse to let their community be down for too long. that's where i see glimpses of light. that's where the path will be illumined, if it is to happen.